"Throw it out"

I think I've been driving Pod boy crazy with my questions about what I will need to bring with me in the way of clothing when I move into the van. The "big" worries for me at the moment have been: how many warm clothes to bring with me, how many "nice" clothes to bring, how much storage space I'll be allowed in the van (because I know I will fill whatever big or little space I have) and lastly how much extra stuff to bring and leave in storage. The only really concrete thing he's said is "take a zero off the end of the number of shoes you're bringing", he knows that my parents don't call me Imelda Marcos for no reason!

Another problem for me is that I will be hanging out with Pod boy on jobsites as his apprentice for the 6 months between August and February, obviously during this time I can continue with my habit of only wearing clothes as covers. But come February I will be starting a job as a registered psychiatric nurse where I will be wearing mufti everyday and will actually have to care about the clothes I wear. This means I have to have a range of clothes suitable for both winter/summer as well as casual clothes for hanging around in, work clothes for the hospital and work clothes for mucky jobsites.

We had a discussion a couple of nights ago about our plans for the foreseeable future. It was an important conversation as it revolved around the issue of "stuff" and what we would do with it. Pod boy has a storage unit at the moment that costs about $1200/annum, the money's not an issue but the thought of all the stuff that's in there is daunting for him. Aside from some special books he says there's not really much of importance in it and he's considering getting rid of it. I suddenly felt panicked and while I voiced a few of my concerns I probably didn't explain my fear fully. He'll get to read this when you do and he'll get more insight into my craziness.

As you know Pod boy has been living in the pod for 10 months, while I am living with my parents in a very large house. After we got engaged and decided that I would move over to join him I came home and got rid of a lot of stuff. I thought I had decluttered quite fully; and indeed I had - to a point. I recycled 40kg of paper, mostly old assignments from Uni, I sorted through about 400 books and halved the number that I "couldn't part with". I also sorted through 3 wardrobes of clothes and gave 3 big black bags full away.

My fear over the possibility of giving up the storage unit comes largely from the fear of giving up the security of the stuff it would hold of mine. My parents had said initially that I could leave my furniture and anything that I wasn't immediately wanting at their house. Later I realised that my 3 younger sisters would almost certainly sort through anything I left and help themselves to it. The objective part of me knows that if I'm coping without it then I really don't need it, but the older sister part of me doesn't want them going through anything!

I'm also aware that most of the stuff I have kept will be useful and important when we settle down in a house. So I feel torn: do I just bring the important stuff with me when I move? Do I bring only stuff that will fit in the pod and nothing else, leaving the rest of my beloved things to the wolves? Or do I send everything over (including some furniture) and wrangle a way to keep the storage unit?

I find it interesting that these concerns of mine all melt away when I'm in the pod, it's only here at home that these issues and decisions seem so important. I've realised that this is because the insignificant worries about clothes, hair straighteners and material possessions are easier to deal with than the other issues that are going on at home at the moment. I'm not sure what we'll decide about storage space and my stuff, but I'm sure that when I'm once again living peacefully in the pod I won't even care if I've left everything behind.